Prayer

Prayer is a topic I don't usually speak about publicly.  Very rare occasions have led me to pray aloud or speak about it with others outside of my immediate family (even that doesn't happen often).  Otherwise, it is something I lock away, only to take out when I am alone.  I think that a lot of people are like me in this way.  There are those who are vocal about their beliefs, who potently exude religion, there are those who experience spirituality in a more private, inwardly manner, and then there are those who choose not to believe in anything higher.  I'm in the second group of people.

Since entering the realm of adulthood, prayer has become more second nature to me, something I do much more often than I used to.  It is something I enjoy doing, rather than something I only do when I'm desperate for help.  So, I thought I would put a list out into the world, or at least into my little blog, on why I pray.

1. It encourages me to reflect on my day.

I usually pray before going to sleep at night, after I'm warm and cozy in my bed and the lights are out.  It becomes not only a moment of connection with God, but also a moment of deep connection with myself.  In the few minutes I spend praying, I reflect on my day and the events that occurred.

2. It develops in me a strong sense of gratitude. 

There is nothing I do that makes me more grateful for my life than praying.  Though I am exposed to many wonderful experiences daily that lift my sense of thankfulness, they do not instil that quiet, peaceful, whole-hearted and overwhelming feeling of being completely blessed as when I literally say thank you for each one of them while praying.  It is incredibly humbling.

3. It focuses the light shining on the path I've chosen to walk.

I've chosen to walk a path alongside and in loving relationship with God, to value my family deeply, to put myself out there to try to make a positive difference within my small sphere of people and my community.  Praying focuses in on these choices I've made for my life and helps put the extra oomph in my drive to continue this direction.

I choose every day to pray.  Whether it's before I go to bed, while I'm driving across the city, or at any other point through my day, its value to my life is undeniable.  I love God with all my heart, and I feel blessed beyond belief for the life I've been given, but I think even if you don't believe in God or anything higher, or your spirituality is somewhere else on that spectrum, prayer is something you can still do.  Maybe you wouldn't call it "prayer", maybe you'll call it something other, like a daily reflection, or you'll set aside a time every day to write down a list of what you're grateful for, but I really encourage you to take that step.  It's amazing what a difference focusing your energy for less than five minutes a day can have.

An Afternoon at the Glenbow Museum

Earlier this week I had to travel downtown to get my passport renewed, so I thought I might as well check out the Glenbow Museum down the street, as I hadn’t been to it yet.  I knew nothing about the museum going in, and what a lovely surprise it was!  It’s a museum of art and culture with both temporary and permanent exhibitions, currently showcasing a few exhibitions very unique to what I have seen before.  The permanent exhibitions were also of interest, particularly on the history of Calgary and Alberta.

Mavericks: An Incorrigible History of Alberta

Niitsitapiisinni: Our Way of Life

The museum is divided into three floors; I started on the top floor and worked my way down.  I was so excited about being there that when I went into the first exhibition, I spent far too much time reading and absorbing everything presented that I ended up having to rush through a lot of the rest of the museum due to the limited amount of time I had.  In all honesty, I tend to do this at every museum I go to…perhaps it’s time I learned my lesson.  Thankfully in this case, however, I live in the same city as Glenbow so I have lots of time to return!  So I recommend pacing yourself, or if you are keen to read everything, then definitely plan for a full day visit, or plan to go multiple times. 

Where Symbols Meet: A Celebration of West African Achievement

Paul Hardy’s Kaleidoscope Animalia was my favourite exhibition by far.  From the perspective of a fashion and interior designer, Hardy created various life-sized shadow boxes, so to speak, featuring the influence of these perspectives and the relationships between social culture, animals, and eras.  The displays utilized symbolism and humour in both the art itself and the names of the pieces given.  The two pieces I most enjoyed were “Man’s Best Friend” for it’s humour and “Beyond the Looking Glass” for it’s interesting appeal and the fact that I felt I could relate to it on some level.  I highly recommend checking this exhibition out, which I believe will remain open until the spring of next year. 

The entrance to Kaleidoscope Animalia

Kaleidoscope Animalia

The two other temporary exhibitions were also worthwhile.  If all things strange and curious allure you, then Lyndal Osborne’s Cabinets of Curiosity is a fun place to wonder and experience stimulation through various senses.  Road Trips and Other Diversions, by David Thauberger, features acrylic with glitter paintings of landscape and common architecture, and some ceramic sculpture as well.  I could have stared at his painting, “Lake Reflecting Mountains”, for hours! 

Cabinets of Curiosity

All in all, a wonderful museum, and an even more wonderful way of making a trip to the over-crowded passport office much more worthwhile.  

Trust Without Borders

A line in the bridge of "Oceans," one of my favourite songs by Hillsong, says, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders..."  This line has stuck with me over the past while.  I have been trying to figure out what exactly it means to me, and how I am to trust without borders in my life.

I prefer certainty, like most.  I tend to trust God completely when things are going well, and then as soon as things begin to head in any other direction other than what I define as "well," I often begin to doubt my trust in Him.  In other words, I trust Him completely until that moment when He asks me to walk out on the water and trust Him without borders, in blind faith, and I struggle.  The immense uncertainty faith can sometimes bring is difficult.  I think it's human nature, and especially in our culture, this sort of vulnerability is avoided.  Why?  Because it is terrifying.

I read a wonderful book this past summer titled "Daring Greatly," written by shame and vulnerability researcher Brene Brown.  To summarize, she allows that vulnerability is risky and can certainly lead to hurt, but she maintains that it is also necessary in order to experience love, joy, and connection.  If you don't put yourself out there and trust that things will work out how they are meant to, whether that be that they actually work out, or that you learn something from the experience, at least you provided yourself an actual fighting chance of finding that love, joy, or connection.

So, where has this lead me to?  I've been putting a lot more time into praying.  As well, I've been putting more conscious thought into "trusting without borders."  It has been interesting, to say the least.  I'm still trying to grasp this concept, to trust God with all my heart even when I start to struggle, but it's worth it.  The vulnerability I have forced myself into (and continue to force myself into) has led to a lot of personal growth, a new friendship, and an even closer relationship with God.

It's like the song says...

"You call me out upon the waters,

The great unknown, where feet may fail.

And there I find You in the mystery,

In oceans deep, my faith will stand."

-Hillsong- 

My feet may fail; there is always that risk when you accept vulnerability.  But it is better to have failed while putting your heart into your faith, than to have closed doors and weakened your relationship with God because of a fear of trying.

-Carlee

Twenties

As I head further into my twenties, I've been thinking more on what I've discovered so far in life.  It's quite difficult to narrow down all these little (and big) discoveries into a short list that is honestly impactful.  And so I decided to challenge myself to shorten it to only three ideas that have changed how I think and live.

1. Treat yourself as you would treat your closest friend.

When someone I love is experiencing something difficult, I give them the space they need to recover. If their heart is broken, or they've made a mistake, I walk alongside them without judgment.  Yet when my heart is broken, I have tended to treat myself without that same compassion which I needed.  It hasn't been until the last couple years that I've finally come to this truth - I was given a body and mind made with purpose, and I should treat it like so, just as I treat those I love.  It's been a long process, but I've come to the point where I do take care of myself in that way.  I keep Sunday's open just for me, where I sleep in, go to church, eat brunch (I love brunch), and do whatever I feel like enjoying on that day.  To give yourself an entire day each week makes such a difference.  

2. Filter people out of your life who add no value to it.

I have always been the type of person who hates to start conflict, even when it means allowing myself to be repeatedly hurt and disappointed.  I love to give people second chances, and third and fourth and ninth and twenty-seventh chances.  But keeping these individuals in my close circle makes my circle shaky and breakable.  Letting go of these individuals, and moving forward with openness to the possibility of new people, makes for a solider circle.  If you let in the right people, they will add so much value to your life, and your life will thank you for it.  

3. Challenge yourself to be better.  

When I say, "to be better," I mean to be the most genuine, authentic, messily beautiful person you can be.  Sitting stagnant just won't give the same results.  While I do give myself permission to be a bit messy, I do analyze and reflect on where I could improve.  There are so many things you can do to help with this.  Personally, I love self-help books.  If you catch me at Chapters, there's a pretty good chance I'll be browsing the self-help section (much to many of my friends amusement).  But I think there are some really smart and enlightened people out there who have a lot to offer, and who have thankfully offered it publicly.  

And you know what?  I think I'll just have to add one more, I can't help myself...

4. Don't take the little things too seriously.  

Cheers!

- Carlee